Just so I’m clear, making THEM watch our female marines have sex is torture, but we have to listen to them sing and the U.N. won’t intervene?

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within seconds of feigning a concerned “Gosh I hope Steven Tyler’s alright” you were, like me, singing “…livin’ it up when I’m goin’ dowwwwwnnnn!!!” to the delighted guffaws of your friends.

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When sound came to the movies, it ended the careers of many silent-film stars. Likewise, HD (high-definition) is NOT friendly to a number of hitherto attractive women. I’ve already written about this in regard to Brooke Shields, Holly Hunter, et al. Add to the list one Gabrielle Anwar. I’m the first to admit that, with [...]

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Okay, I still didn’t fix the scanner, so I’ve got no visual. But I did manage to hang a good deal of the collection over the last week.  I’m trying to maintain logical groupings, but I put my favorites closer to the desk. As a result, there’s one section of wall that has, in this [...]

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…to buy a T-Mobile phone, then by god, I’ma get me one. Sadly, I wouldn’t need any extra minutes And for that matter, if she wants me to cram it in my eye socket, I’ll prob’ly do that too. We just won’t discuss her &(#$*%! husband… If that picture gave you an extra bar, please [...]

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GERMANTOWN, WI [ JG ]  Yes, I watch American Idol. I know.  I know.  Yeah.  I know.  Shut up. Look, if there was no off-season for football this might not happen.  I realize that my tenuous 51.0000001% heterosexuality quotient is in peril every time some dude in mascara makes me misty, but that’s my gamble [...]

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…probably means I’m not trying hard enough.  The feedback from yesterday’s Milwaukee Journal/Sentinel piece was 100% positive. You might accuse me of blowing my own horn by reproducing some of the nicer comments here.  My only defense is “Well, yeah.  Duh.”: Finally, at last, an entertaining community columnist writer! Great job – looking forward to [...]

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GERMANTOWN, WI [ JG]  Okay, “New Math” is like fifty years old now, but that’s not the point.  Besides, I’M like fifty years old now, and people still blame ME for stuff. Some people have whined that “the Daily Scoff” isn’t always “daily” any more.  Again, I blame math, and here’s why. When I first [...]

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Mr. President, I’m doing my best as a patriot and a conservative to support you. But if your present choice of leaders is reflective of “the most sweeping ethics reform in history,” then I respectfully would say, sir, you’re sweeping in the wrong direction. Due to constraints on my time with the new gig and [...]

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GERMANTOWN, WI [ JG ]  Hello, I’m J. Gravelle, and there’s nobody else here to introduce. If you’re old like me, and not yet senile, like me, you might remember the Bartles and Jaymes television ads that featured Bartles, and his partner Jaymes.  On television. The ones without any feathers are Frank Bartles and Ed [...]

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