The heck you say. But it’s not quite what you think.

MADISON, WI [ LINK : Boston Globe story ] This UW study appears to show that four, five-ounce glasses of red wine per day can help you live longer. Scientists failed to factor in the scenario wherein a guy stops at the bar every night for four drinks, then staggers home only to have his wife kill him.

Then there are those who self-medicate in their cars. They too, would likely skew the results of this evaluation.

Still, one has to admire scientists who, rather than wasting their time showing us how the emissions from our weed-whackers are going to result in the untimely deaths of animated polar bears, are instead working diligently to both extend our lifespans and give us an excuse to drink more.

Hopefully, we’ll see a study establishing that eating brats and cheese curds while watching football games in your underwear results in “natural male enhancement”.

I can hard-ly wait…