HOLLYWEIRD, CA [ STORY : ActressArchives.com ]  It’s nice when they write the satire for you.  Directly from the story:

Having been outed as someone who’d wait until her wedding night to experience the physical act of love, Mariah Carey is reportedly upset with husband Nick Cannon’s recent revelation that the two waited until after their marriage ceremony to copulate.

The singer reportedly saved herself for (this) marriage.  Well, according to the story, she preserved everything south of the equator.  Everything in the anterior hemisphere, anyway.

Worth the wait?  Ask Nick Cannon

Most of the stories about this refer to the news derisively.  So we’ve gone from being outraged by premarital sex, to not being shocked by premarital sex, to becoming accepting of premarital sex, to being ostracized if we don’t engage in premarital sex.

I’m pretty sure the next step is enacting a law that actually mandates premarital sex, which is a proposition her former fiance could have probably gotten behind.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to get some more signatures on this petition…

If you think premarital sex
with Mariah Carey is a constitutional right
please click whatever ad shows up here–>
(If not, please click twice.)

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