BROOKLYN, NY [ Story : NYBlueprint.com ]  It is perhaps a sign of the apocalypse.  If so, the world cannot end soon enough.

Asher Roth is billed as “the Jewish Eminem”, and his stardom has been proclaimed as imminent.  Or Eminemiment, if you prefer.

We moshed Rosh Hashannah and we said “Oy Vey!”

From the story: “One Jewish kid is rapping, a Chasidic guy does Reggae and we have a black president,” said a 25-year-old named Max from Queens. “What year is this? Where are we? Is this real? Amazing.”

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For any Jewish parents in my reading audience (I know, but play along, will ya?) here are some warning signs that your kid might be getting swept up into the life of a gangsta:

Fashion : Look for subtle changes in their clothing.  While extremely hard to detect, you need to check on whether your child is wearing his jarmulka backwards or sideways:

Speaking :  Be aware of codewords that closely mimic street slang.  Remember, “Oy” is just “Yo” spelled backwards.  Further, the young rapper often has a compulsion to relate everything in poetic verse.  A seemingly innocent question like “Hey Mom, does Yatziv Pitgam rhyme with Yekum Purkan, or should I just use ‘Shake ‘em – Work ‘em’?” might be indicative of a problem; and

Friends :  The Hebrew terms for male and female friends (“chaverot and chaverim”) do not directly translate into “Bro’s and Ho’s”.  Your rabbi will back me up on all of this, I’m sure.

Just make certain that HIS hat isn’t on backwards…

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