…but I did not text the deputy.

WASHINGTON COUNTY [ JG ] Try as I might, I can’t always complain.

No, really.

Which sucks, because it’s cathartic for me to vent.  Deep down, I appreciate it when people try my patience.  They are, after all, setting up all the targets on my little Daily Scoff plinking range.  And for a while, it looked like I’d be able to take some potshots at Washington County Sheriff Dale Schmidt this week.

Sheriff Dale Schmidt

But I can’t.

You might recall how an email that I’d sent to Milwaukee Mayor Tom Barrett via his city’s crappy website (trying to GIVE  HIM money, mind you) went unanswered forrrr… lessee… I sent it during the Nixon administration soooo… well, let’s just say “forever”, since Hizonner has never replied.

Similarly, I sent an email to the Washington County Sheriff’s Department via their (admittedly, equally crappy) website about a week and a half ago concerning an incident I alluded to last Sunday.  Likewise, that complaint went unanswered for about a week.  I had no sooner gotten through my first draft of a snide and crass poignant and direct critique of Sheriff Schmidt’s operation when one of his deputies contacted me.

The very next day, that deputy and his partner were at my doorstep.  Officer Polinske was polite, thorough, and professional in taking my statement.  The accompanying deputy, Officer Cox, was large enough, stern enough, and intimidating enough that there’s not a chance in hell I’m using him as a punchline anywhere in this article, despite the vast comedic potential of his surname.

Yeah, it’s killing me.  But so could he.

Picture an ex-marine turned pro-wrestler.  Now pin a badge on his chest.  Not his uniform… stick it right into the pectoral muscle.  In fact, forget the pin.  Use drywall screws.  He wouldn’t flinch.   That kinda guy.  So again, write your own damn joke.  I’m not goin’ there.

Anyway, I was really pleased with the way I was treated, and the polite and apologetic email I got from Sheriff Schmidt for the delay was just icing on the cake.  For now (and until my next speeding tick– I mean, “faulty speedometer” citation) I’m quite happy with my local Sheriff’s Department.

Which means that, essentially, I’ve got nothing to scoff about today.  It also means that the NEXT person who pisses me off is going to get two days worth of pent-up vitriol spewed upon them.

Unless that person is Officer Cox, of course.  Then I’ll probably just complain about Tom Barrett again…