Audio: Automakers' 34 Billion Dollar Song and Dance

December 3rd, 2008

WARSHINGTON, D.C. [ STORY : MarketWatch ] Last month, auto executives flew into the nation’s capital aboard privately chartered jets to complain that they’d been reduced from multi-billionaires to multi-millionaires. After a brief adjournment, lawmakers gave them the finger.

For the first time in my adult life, I was proud of my country… if you don’t count the other like, million times.

This month, “Big Three” executives were back. They wanted even MORE money, but at least this time, they’d rehearsed an act. The trio came sputtering up to the Capitol steps in *gasp* their own companies’ cars.

Chrysler’s CEO reportedly expressed reservations about traveling by road, citing “safety” concerns. (Mull that over, Voyager-driving soccer moms. The head guy who makes Plymouths didn’t want be caught dead behind the wheel of one for fear of being found dead behind the wheel of one.)

Donning straw hats and canes, the C.E.-Woes broke into an awkward song and (tap) dance, while the band played “Makin’ Whoopee”, which is, I suppose, ONE way to make sure you’ve got a politician’s attention:

Another bailout
Another loan
Another great big business
Uncle Sam can own
Another schism
For communism
And losin’ money

We’re on our knees
We’re beggin’, please
We’re gettin’ our asses
handed to us
by the Ja-pa-nese

We let a goon run
the auto union
We’re losin’ money

Only ten miles per gallon
downhill, if you’re luck-y
Every guy wants a Hummer
just not the S.U.V.

At second glance
Seems there’s a chance
That the suckers up in Congress bought our song and dance
The gold is glistnin’
The feds are listnin’
They’re printin’ money

The full audio of this performance is available online HERE.

Parents, you might consider using it to teach your children about the way government works.

Or, you know, just to punish them…

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