DIGG THIS STORY

I sort of wish I didn’t have the (admittedly well-deserved) reputation for occasionally employing hyperbole to over-emphasize a point, because this story really IS in regard to a potentially felonious pillow fight.

Go ahead and read the second item on the New Berlin police blotter under “Assault” incidents if you’d like. For those too lazy to click, the synopsis reads like a modern day Avalon/Funicello farce: boy meets girl, girl gets drunk and pushy, boy whacks girl with pillow and apparently the tag gives her a nasty paper cut. Girl meets doctor. Boy meets policeman. Hilarity ensues, due in no small part to the ridiculous mandates officers are saddled with in the course of their duties as armed marriage counselors. Boy risks doing time in Waupun. Oh boy.

Who among us wants to be the new meat in cell block ‘D’, bunking with society’s outcasts: thieves, muggers, aldermen, (pardon my redundancy) when your only street cred is that you hosted a pajama party that got a little outta hand?

I trust our District Attorney will see this whole incident for the farce that it appears to be, and drop the charges post haste…

-jjg

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