MILWAUKEE, WI [ STORY : WTMJ4 ] Aldermen, it appears, can drink on the job.
Milwaukee Alderman Bob Donovan warns us of the “incredible” danger faced by the city’s police force. The greatest threat to our men and women in blue (as you may have guessed if, as I suggested, you’d been drinking too) is slippery sidewalks. Mr. Donovan’s concern is that:
“…we’ve got Milwaukee police officers that are in these areas on bicycles and on foot, and if they have a foot chase or a foot pursuit, yeah they could kill themselves.”
Kids, call grandma today and harangue her about the ice on her front walk. Remind her that criminals always stick to the footpaths when fleeing police, and that the fate of the people who pursue those ne’er-do-wells is in her trembly, liver-spotted hands.
Let me suggest that the bitter cold elements are equally dangerous to the folks assigned to the MPD’s Winter(?!) Bicycle Patrol Units. I propose that we escalate our efforts to contribute to global warming, perhaps starting with a public burning of any campaign literature you might have lying around with the name “Bob Donovan” on it.
If you know anybody on the force, ask them to rate, in order of their immediate concern, the dangers posed to them by armed street gang members, felons on early release, violent sexual predators, and unsalted concrete. Odds are pretty good that dry walkways are low on the beat cop’s list of priorities.
The real danger is that your representative might slip and hit his head once too often, thus putting the “manic” back in “Aldermanic”…
If you shoveled your walk,
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