JAPAN [JG]  Two more earthquakes rumbled off the coast of Japan last night, leaving many worried that victims are-  Holy crap!  I just saw Scarlett Johansson’s naked ass!

Yeah, yeah.  Earthquakes, economic collapse, civil uprisings, blah, blah, blah.  But dude, did’ja check out the butt on Scarlett Johansson?  She took a picture of herself with her cellphone and–

No way!  Another picture?!  Topless!  Yeah, yeah, I’ll get back to the news.  We’ve got a story out of Iraq, and–  hey, speaking of “a rack” did’ja see–  Sorry, where was I?

Shoot.  Just got one of the “cease and decist” orders her attorney is sending to every guy on the planet.  Apparently his client objects to people seeing her ass.  For free.  Okay everybody, fun’s over.  Let’s all delete the photos and get back to the day’s events.

Whoops, looks like that’s about all the space we’ve got for today’s news.  For more important follow-ups on Scarlett Johansson’s nude photos and the implications her ample bosom and firm, round behind will have on the nation’s economy, unemployment, and the survivors of the latest earthquakes, tune into ABC, CBS, NBC, MSNBC…

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