GERMANTOWN, WI [ JG ] On July 24th, I wrote a piece entitled “Fed Up” after seeing better than a half dozen people endangered on the freeway by a government d*ckhead. (Note to Moms n’ Dads: Pronounce that as “duckhead” if you’re reading this to the kids as a bedtime story.)
Anywho, my visitor logs subsequently recorded a scary spike in traffic from the U.S. Department of State, shown here –>
As an aging fat guy with borderline high blood pressure, I’d like to imagine that Angelina Jolie is in my reading audience, sneaking adoring peeks at my portrait behind the back of that homely husband of hers. Instead, I find out that I’ve made some very powerful people’s radar go “bloop”.
But with a little help from Father Time (and a lot from Mothern Comfort) I was able to put the uncomfortable feeling of inevitable deportation behind me. Until last night, when I got home and found a car in my parking space.
Most disconcerting was the ominous sticker in the windshield:
[ Insert Scooby-Doo-esque "Yikes!" here. ]
To my delight, I didn’t find men in dark, knock-off Italian suits and generic Ray-Bans in my living room. Not even under the bed. Damn right I looked.
Emboldened by this, I wrote the offender a note, to whit:
“From the looks of the D.O.D. sticker, I probably bought you this car. Coincidentally, I bought this parking spot too. Kindly use the visitor parking space(s).”
I left my patio door ajar and waited for the ensuing hubub. There was “hub”, but no “bub”. Turns out, the recipient of my note was a young lady who apparently found my writing as enjoyable as you, gentle reader. Maybe even more so.
Okay, maybe not. Whatever. Shut up.
In any case, it turns out she bought the car from her brother. She apparently has an honest job in the private sector. Perhaps she’ll be able to convince her sibling to abandon the dark side. Anyway, she was visiting my downstairs neighbors, whom I adore, and they admonished her on my behalf.
That, and knowing that I wasn’t paying her to inconvenience me sort of diffused the self-righteous anger I had built up. Plus, she and her friends were very nice and very apologetic.
Which, I guess, makes me the duckhead…