WASHINGTON, DC [ LINK : AP ]  Emboldened by the fact that the only apparent ramification for illegal left-wing voting schemes is the threat of political victory, John McCain has thrown down and announced his plan to blatantly buy votes by promising to have the government purchase all the, quote, “bad mortgages”.

Check your front porch.  If nobody from the local sheriff’s department is nailing anything to your door with the word “NOTICE” emblazoned upon it, odds are you’re one of us saps who have a “good mortgage”.  Too bad for you, sucker.  This means you’re destined to keep on paying for your own home.

Worse still if you’re one of those fools who has already paid off your house.  You might not be cutting checks for your own mortgage any more, but you’re about to start making the payments on the houses of tens of thousands of other people.

Never one to be out-Trotsky’ed, Obama has responded with the promise that, if elected, not only will He buy all the bad mortgages, He’ll also assume all the good mortgages, annex Canada, and make the trains run on time to boot.  (Technically, to “Das” boot.)  I expect this back-and-forth will continue until we all eat free government cheese, enroll in free government healthcare, and of course, sport stylish (and free) government barcode tattoos.

So sit tight, friends.  If the stump speeches are to be believed, our country’s economic woes will soon be a thing of the past.  At this rate of vote buying one-upmanship, it appears that after this election, everything in America will be free.

Well, everything except us…

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