MILWAUKEE / NYC / VATICAN CITY [ JG ] As you know, I sometimes write for Kevin Fischer, who fills in on WISN radio, where Bob Dolan used to sit behind a microphone and tell us about his brother, Archbishop Timothy Dolan.
If I remember my catechism correctly, this sort of connection, combined with my ordination card from the Universal Life Church of Baton Rouge Louisiana (thanks, Rolling Stone) makes me next in line to be like a Cardinal or something.
I’m brushing up on my Cardinal sins, just in case.
Frankly, I’d settle for being made a Bishop, or a Knight, or a Rook. I have a step-brother who’s something of a queen, but I digress.
Look, I dunno if Dolan is on his way to the Papacy. (Pope-acy?) He’d have to develop a funny accent, for one thing. Plus, where do you get snow tires for the Pope-mobile?
But the thing that I really wanted to point out is this: For all of you who are “wowed” that Dolan seems to be on the fast track toward Vatican City, consider his best credential:
For the majority of his career, he’s been saving souls in a state that’s going straight to hell.
That’s gotta be worth something…
If you’ve ever been Pope,
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