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Despite having held the crown for an entire evening now...

Tom Brady Yet to Impregnate New Miss Universe

September 13th, 2011

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São Paulo, Brazil [JG]  Vegas odds-makers are setting the over-under at less than one year until Tom Brady knocks up the new Miss Universe.

Leila Lopes from Angola - the most beautiful woman in the Universe
The most beautiful woman
in the universe.  No, really…

This, despite every contestant being contractually obligated not to have unprotected sex with the New England Patriots’ quarterback, including a vow “not to be naked in the same country” as Brady.

As an added precaution, this year’s crowning ceremony of the winner, Leila Lopes from Angola, featured a simultaneous fitting of a matching bejeweled tiara and cervical cap combo that looked “absolutely stunning” according to both her fashion consultant and obstetrician.

A disappointed Miss Columbia was found crying backstage and putting her underwear back on

If you have ever had unprotected sex
with New England quarterback Tom Brady,
please click whatever ad appears here –>
 
If not, please click twice…

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Tags: Sex · Sports

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