Cupertino, CA [JG]  ”The criticisms we heard upon the release of the iPhone 4 were, in actuality, backhanded compliments,” Apple Chairman Steve Jobs explained.  ”What I heard most often was ‘Whoa!  The iPhone does everything but wipe my ass for me!’  Well, we listened and the iWipeYourButt was born.  Problem solved.”

Other applications reportedly in the works for the new iPhone include:

• the iPickYourNose;
• the iScratchThatSpotYouCan’tReachUnderYourBraClasp;
• the iLieToYourWifeAboutYourGirlfriend;
• the iLieToYourGirlfriendAboutYourWife; and
• the iFoundYourNewDivorceAttorney.

The company would not comment on rumors of their new Biblically Justifiable Vengence App (codenamed: “Hammurabi”) which is expected to be released as the iEyeForAnEye…

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